Congrats to all of you on an awesome 2011 season and congrats to Team Monkeyballs on winning the Championship this past Sunday in a hard-fought victory! Epic effort from everyone!
SCORES
34-41 Alpacas def. Five Alive (7th/8th)
27-17 My Little Pony def. Balls of Your Monkey (5th/6th)
16-21 Lemurballs def. Fourplay (3rd/4th)
30-36 Monkeyballs def. Bucky Balls (Championship Game – 1st/2nd)
MVPs
Congratulations to our Team MVPs: Brian Calvert, Allison Lambert, Cesar Oboni, Juneko Kurahashi, Ed Callendar, Adeline Leung, Christian Loui-Ying, and Hannah Gustafson!
PRIZES
MVPs win prizes courtesy of our sponsors ONE-Apparel and Jointworks Chiropractic. Please visit their websites for more information on their products and services.
Chris Smith wins the draw for the custom orthotics from Jointworks Chiropractic.
Don’t forget that, courtesy of Jointworks Chiropractic, all members of Vancouver Indoor Ultimate will receive 10% off their initial 60min visit that includes: health history, physical examination, sport-specific functional assessment, and initial treatment for a primary complaint. Championship team members receive 25% off their initial 60min visit that includes: health history, physical examination, sport-specific functional assessment, and initial treatment for a primary complaint.
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That’s pretty much it! Hope you all had a fun time this season and we’ll hopefully see you all next year!
Final scores! MVPs! Prizes!
MVPs! Thank Yous! Finals!
MVPs!
We’ll be announcing this year’s MVPs on Sunday, which were chosen by super-secret ballot. Unfortunately we didn’t have the chance to ask everyone to vote for their team’s MVP, so the super-secret ballot was mostly us throwing darts at all of your pictures and seeing what stuck. Apologies for any stabbing facial pain over the past week; we were not informed that they were voodoo darts.
Thank Yous!
Imagine our surprise when we found out last Sunday that a bunch of you had chipped in on gift cards for us! We were so surprised that we almost didn’t call you bitches, but fortunately cooler heads prevailed and the Grand Indoor Tradition of Inappropriate Namecalling was preserved.
We haven’t been in it for the money until now, but you have set a very dangerous precedent. Bribery has always been accepted and expected, but genuine gratitude was not something we had considered. We’re very glad that all y’all have enjoyed yourselves, and the sense of community you’ve helped us build over the past 5 years has been reward in and of itself, so thank you. Plus, we get to play frisbee inside, which is a total score.
Finals!
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s finals time. So that means only one thing: more swilly shit than you can shake a disc at.
At 2:15 – Five Alive vs. Alpacas
Not only are these two teams fighting for the coveted Not Last Place Award, but they are also duking it out for the prestigious 1st Annual Phlegm Award, given to the team who best exemplifies the feeling you get if a) you just drank a whole bottle of tropical citrus blend or b) are wooly and look like a llama. These awards are invisible and imaginary, so wear them proudly. And with the mutually exclusive honours up for grabs, everyone’s a winner(?)!
At 3:15 – My Little Pony vs. Balls of your Monkey
You may think that these teams are fighting for 5th place, but you’d be wrong. They’re actually fighting for the Top of the Bottom Award. This award may also be imaginary and invisible, but it’s named after one of the more awkward sexual positions known, so anyone who’s able to declare themselves the Top of the Bottom gets instant street cred and another notch on the post. And maybe herpes.
At 4:15 – Fourplay vs. Lemurballs
I think it probably goes without saying that lemur testes should not have anything to do with fourplay [sic]; unfortunately, the Frisbee Gods have made it so. We think the best thing to do here is to just accept that this is the way it is, and maybe just not talk about it ever again. Like, ever. Just…just shut up.
At 5:15 – Bucky Balls vs. Monkeyballs
Destiny’s Team didn’t just break seed. They crushed it, ground it into a fine powder, which they subsequently snorted, somehow giving them even more power. It was a sight to see, I assure you. Like one Highlander killing another. Lightning and the works. That said, they don’t have it easy. The Monkeyballs may not have been the most consistent team during the regular season (45-14 loss anyone?), but they’re stepping it up in the playoffs. We may have even seen a playoff beard in there somewhere, which takes a remarkable amount of dedication/laziness to pull off. Have The Fates already chosen this year’s champion, or will their screams of anguish be heard when the buzzer sounds at 6:13 on Sunday?
Stick around and watch, this Sunday Sunday SUNDAY!
Playoffs!
The regular season is over, so now the real fun begins. Four hours of scorekeeping could easily be dull beyond belief, but you guys have been playing some incredible ultimate over the past nine eight weeks, and we’ve had some great close games. Keep that intensity up for the next three weeks: these are the games that matter!
We’ve posted our playoff brackets on the Schedule & Scores page, so be sure to check out when your team is playing, what colour (shade?) you are, and most importantly, who you’re going to crush into the wax of the gym floor.
The Lowdown
Over the past four seasons, we’ve had sequential victory for our teams. During our inaugural season, Team 2 took the trophy, with Team 3 following the next year, Team 4 in 2009, and Team 5 in 2010. As you might have guessed, that means Team 6, the Bucky Balls, are in line for the Biggest Prize In Sports. But they’re up against the mighty first-seed Alpacas, whose vitriolic oral secretions strike fear into the hearts of anyone with a pulse.
Lemurs and ponies have never seen eye-to-eye, likely due to a substantial height differential and massive geological displacement. Millions of years of evolutionary differentiation will come to a head this Sunday, as the fourth- and fifth- seeds fight for the right to move on to the semis. Can the small but wily lemurs take the day, or will the calm and methodical demeanour of the plastic equines prove worthy?
In what will surely result in the formation of a supermassive black hole that will engulf all creation as we know it, the second-seeded Monkeyballs are taking on their archrivals from across the scrotum, seventh-seed Balls of Your Monkey. No matter the victor, rest assured, tiny apes will be conceived before your very eyes.
And in our final timeslot of the day, third-seed Five Alive goes up against sixth-seed Fourplay in a battle to determine number-name pun supremacy. Will Fourplay take this one to the mat with their combination of sultry dance moves and whispered sweet nothings, or will Five Alive’s nutritious, delicious, yet slightly phelgm-inducing goodness put a stop to any and all debauchery? Stick around until 5:15 to find out!
See you bitches Sunday!
A little water never hurt nobody…
Well, except when the sprinklers in the Rec area of the JCC went off and we had to evacuate the Community Centre. So yes, sorry about today folks but it couldn’t be helped. It was decided by the Centre’s management that the Rec area (which includes the gym) would be closed for the rest of the day and so all of today’s games were cancelled. The 2:15pm game between Team 7 and Team 8 was cut short by the fire alarm when the score was 15 (T7) to 19 (T8). Unfortunately, we can’t count this partial game as we have to keep things fair with the other teams in terms of games played and points-for.
This means ONE more game of the regular season next week before the playoffs start! Quarterfinals start on March 13th, 2011. *excited*
That also means that there’s a limited amount of time left to purchase our Indoor discs! A bargain at only $10 each! Save them for summer! Give them away as presents! Use them as plates! Buy them now! Please see the Jeremys at the scorekeeper’s table during the games to purchase a disc or two.
Our new discs have arrived!

Our brand new discs have finally arrived! Making their long trek from the Discraft factory in Wixom, Michigan, these discs have battled snow storms to get here. The two new colours for this season are Metallic Green Foil and Metallic Fuchsia Foil! Discs are only $10 cash each and you’ll be able to purchase them from the scorekeeper’s table from this Sunday onwards. Supplies are very limited so don’t delay! Get your Vancouver Indoor Ultimate discs now!
Email groups created!
Thanks to our intrepid webmistress, email groups with the updated rosters for each team have been created. If you didn’t receive an email about the email groups or if you’re on the wrong team’s group email, please let us know!
EDIT: January 22, 2011 – We’ve sent out team email lists as well just in case. Check your inbox!
Shaken, not stirred
Team rosters have been changed up a bit due to team balancing and new players joining the league. Please check the Teams page to see what team you’re on. Please also check the Schedule & Scores page to see what time your team plays this coming Sunday! New team email lists will be sent out tonight or tomorrow. Keep an eye out for them.
Housekeeping
Emails have been sent out regarding checking-in (mandatory), paying fees (you’re out after the 2nd week if you don’t), team juggling (keep an eye out for another email announcement), subs (let’s play fair), and scores (check out the Schedule & Scores page).
See y’all tomorrow!
Reminder emails have been sent to all players regarding check-in, payment (bring $50 cash!), rules, etc. Check your inbox for this important email. Please contact us if you have any questions. Only 24 hours to go!
Never underestimate the effectiveness of a bribe
We’ve updated the games schedule to balance out the number of early and late games each team has to play. Please check out the Schedule page for the new game times. Week 1′s schedule remains the same though.
Three days to go!

